Listen To Understand

‘The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.’
– Ralph Nichols

I agree with the majority of this quote. We all definitely have a need to be understood and most definitely others do need to listen to us to find some understanding of us. Do we all have the need to understand? Maybe not. My view is that that would be more of a want. Some of us just do not want to understand about certain things or people for varying reasons.

Neuroscience has found that the need to be understood is one of the six social needs we need to have ‘just right’ to create a high performing team. Ironically, clients are continually asking me to do work with their teams and one of the issues which keeps coming up again and again is the topic of communication or how to communicate well. This rests within another of the six social needs, the need to express. The ability to be able to express what we are thinking or feeling in a safe environment.

Obviously, listening is a part of communication. Yet communication is not as straightforward as one person speaking, another listening and the listener answering. There are all sorts of elements at play interfering with how we communicate. Something to be aware of is that we hear what we want to hear and remember what we want to remember. Therein lies the possibility of something being missed or misinterpreted.

I recently wrote about perception. It sits in this space as well. We sometimes have perceptions of others without having all the information and a rounded view. How could we possibly understand someone totally?

Do not underestimate the power in understanding those around you, including those you work with. You may very well be missing their strengths, what they have to offer, where they can excel for you, your business and themselves.

What are you missing about those around you because you really don’t understand them?